Breath Me
by Willow Grace
Summary: After the death of her parents Bella has finally given up on everything life has to offer, becoming a mute and cutter. Until a doctor and his family shows her that there is more to life then pain and suffering. A/U and Bella's a lil OOC.
1. Chapter 1

Ok, so I got this fic stuck in my head. I'm going to let you know that it will only be a two, maybe three shot. I already have the ending planed. But if there are enough reviews and or request I will work on revising it, and turning it into a full story. I really enjoyed writing it and got it all done in one night. So if wanted I will make it longer and add a Edward/Bella romance to it. Hope you enjoy and PLEASE Review or else I wont know what you want lol. Also, I had the song 'Breath Me' by Sia on repeat during the whole time i was writing, and i have to say it goes very well with the fic. I definitely recommend listening to it while reading.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything to do with Twilight.

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It was demented. It was sick, crazy, and very disturbing. I lost myself in the emotional pain while craving the physical that I knew I could handle. That's all there was. Just the excruciating pain. It was all I had left. Everything was gone. My home, my family, even my crazy loving friends. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't blame them, I knew it wasn't their fault for having to leave me.

I curled up into a ball on the floor of the empty restroom stale. No one would be looking for me until the six am checkup. I had a good five hours to drown myself in the pain. I have been here many times before. And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame.

_I sighed and looked at the clock for what felt like the hundredth time. Twelve thirty four am. Only three minutes since the last time I checked. I was starting to get really worried, and irritated. They were never late. I had told them I would wait up since they let me use their copy of the house key. I had planned to go out with Angela earlier today. And had lost my copy for the fifth time, last week. _

_I pulled out my phone and called the Black's again. After the seventh ring the answering machine picked up._

"_Hi Billy, this is Bella again. Um, my parents said that the party would be over at ten. There still not home yet and I was wondering if their still there. Please call me as soon as you get this." I hung up the phone, only to pick it up not even fifteen seconds later._

"_Hello?"_

"_Bella? Hey it's Jake." I exhale a breath I didn't realize I was holding, feeling a little hope._

"_Hey Jacob, are my mom and dad still there?"_

"_Bella, um, they left almost three hours ago." I could hear the worry in his voice. My blood ran cold. Something was wrong. I jerked my head to the front door when I heard a knock, and sighed in relief._

"_Finally!" I gave a short laugh for letting myself worry. "Jake?, Hey there home, sorry for bothering you. I call you tomorrow, Bye." I hung up the phone and ran to the door._

"_It's about time, you guys had my worried si-" I cut my self off when I noticed who was on the other side._

"_Officer Davis?" He was one of my dad's best friends and coworker. I noticed right away that his eyes were blood shot._

"_NO!" I screamed, throwing myself at him, hitting his chest as hard as I could as he tried to wrap his arms around me, keeping me upright._

"_I'm so sorry Bella." _

"_No, no, no" It came out as a whispered chant, over and over, until I finally let the pain and stress take over. Making me numb and dead to the world around me._

Three years have past. They suffered for two hours. If only they could have waited fifteen more minutes, they would have gotten the help they needed. Dad had taken the back roads home from La Push due to the traffic form the Homecoming Football game. There was a deer. A stupid insufficient animal.

Dad lost conscious on impact, slowly dieing from internal bleeding. Mom suffered the whole two hours, paralyzed from the waist down. Unable to wake Charlie. And to weak to move. Fifteen minutes after their last breaths, a teenager on his way home from the after game party took a wrong turn, and found there car.

I couldn't remember much after Officer Davis left. He must have called the Blacks, because I woke up the next day in Jacob's bed. I had found him snoring on the living room couch that seemed way too little for his huge body. The days passed, blurring into each other. I never talked. I never showed emotion. I was just there. A shell of my old self. I become too much for Billy to take care of on his own. So, he sent me here. A children's home for the mentally disabled. I never blamed him, and I never will. He tried and that's more then I could ever ask for. Jake came to see me once a week for the first three months. Then it was every other week. His visits became less and less. Until one day he just never showed. It's been a year and a half since I have seen him. And no I don't blame him either. I'm no longer the Bella he used to love. I rather have it this way anyhow. I can no longer hurt anyone. And I never have to deal with the loss of a loved one. That's another reason I refuse to talk. So people knew to stay away.

I pulled my self up off the floor reaching into my robes one and only pocket, pulling out the box cutter blade rapped in gauze. Once unwrapped I folded a couple peaces of tissue on the floor, ready for when I needed them.

Pulling up the sleeve of the old robe and hospital gown, I looked at all my old scares and the healing lacerations from my most recent brake down. There had to be at least a hundred thin lined scares, all at different angles. Each at least three inches long. I always wore long sleeves. No one ever noticed or asked why. They would never get an answer anyway. My recent cuts were healing nicely. A little red, but that was about it. They were already scabbed over.

I heaved a sigh and picked up the blade, holding it to my arm pointing towards my wrist, lying over four or five scares. Applying enough pressure to dig into my skin. I sucked in a breath through clinched teeth. Looking down at the blade as it cut through each layer of my skin, going deeper and deeper. I had to apply more pressure due to all the scares it was cutting through. My blood slowly seeping out around the blade, yet I kept going. I didn't want to stop. I needed more. _This_ pain, took away all others. I lost myself again. I thought about my mother and her beautiful smile. My father and his blushing cheeks when he showed me he cared. I thought about my Jacob and his warm embrace when ever I was sad or scared. I thought about Angela and the beautiful friendship we shared. I thought about everything I lost in the matter of one night. And I did it. I have finally given up. I looked down at the blade that was halfway embedded in my wrist and arm. I could see lose flesh wrapped around it. The blood was flowing freely now. I was quickly becoming dizzy and light headed. I knew that if I didn't stop and get help _right now_. I would bleed to death. And just thinking about that, I have never felt so free and weightless before in my life. I knew it was over. I honestly never intended to kill myself. But with the way that I was feeling, the freedom, the tranquility of it. I wish I would have done it sooner.

My last thoughts before the darkness I craved over took me, was of my mother and father in the car, minutes before the accident. But this time…. I was with them.

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Really hope you guyz liked it, Review and let me know, also I have no Beta, Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes. I'll prabably be posting the next chapter tomorrow if not tonight

*HUGZ&SKITTLES*


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Ok so here is chapter two. I think I could of done way better, but I'm heavily medicated. (Helped sister move, messed up back and got two shots in the ass) so everything looks good right now lol. Also this is my first time doing a male POV so please let me know if i pulled it off ok.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything to do with Twilight.

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CPOV

"Patients name; Isabella Marie Swan, age seventeen. Female, Caucasian. Came in due to extensive blood loss from a self-inflicted wound. No family, Resides at Seattle's Youth Care Orphanage." I looked at Jennifer to make sure she was following.

"She needed two blood transfusions, twenty-six stitches, and tetanus shot, along with antibiotics and steroids. We had to call in a pulmonary specialist to respire the lacerated vein as well. She also had an acute infectious disease, contracted through the penetrating wound. Which caused severe muscular spasms and contractions, especially around her neck and jaw." I could see that she was a little confused.

"It's completely normal. The spasms were caused by the toxin released by the bacterium Clostridium tetani. I am guessing the razor she used was rusted or slowly becoming rusted, she must have been using it for a while, her spasms stopped within the first forty-eight hours after the injection. She's been in a coma for two weeks now" I looked at my new R.N.

"Any questions Jennifer?

"Nope, I think I got it." She gave a smile that turned sad when she looked at Isabella. "Um, Dr. Cullen?"

"Hmm?"

"Look, I know that we have to keep our work impersonal. But what's going to happen to her once she wakes up and is well again." she hurried to explain her reasons. "It's just, well she reminds me of my sister. People like her and my sister, shouldn't be alone in the world." She looked as if she was worried she said something wrong.

"You're going to be a good nurse Jennifer, and I promise you that everything is going to work out just fine." I was not going to tell her that I had thought the exact same thing. That was how I met my beautiful Esme. I looked at Isabella. She was a beautiful young woman. Life had been really hard on her, and it was time that she realized there is something worth living for.

Once Jennifer left to go check on her next patient. A Timothy Cooper who was working on passing his seventh kidney stone this week. I took a seat beside Isabella. Yes, you should always keep your work impersonal, but I could not help but feel Isabella was special. She reminded me so much of Esme. Who experienced something very similar. I already cared for her as a daughter. I did not find it strange in the least to have such a connection to her when she hasn't even opened her eyes yet. I felt the same for Alice within the first fifteen minutes of meeting her. I didn't tell Jennifer that I knew exactly what would be happening to Miss Swan when she was ready to be released.

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BPOV

Ok so I had an idea that this was hell. The beeping in the background alone was enough to drive me even more insane. That was the fist thing that I had noticed. Then came the excruciating pain. My whole body felt as if it was ran over by a semi. I wanted to cry out, but my body didn't want to listen to me. I tried to move my fingers.

Nothing.

I tried my eyes. Same thing. After what seemed like forever but was probably only five minuets, I got my toe to move. After another fifteen minutes, I was able to open my eyes. Nope, not hell. I was disappointed to an existent that I did not succeed in ending my pain. However, I couldn't deny the part that wanted to live. I looked around what I realized was a hospital room. Pale green walls, white tailed floor, three doors, one that looked to be a closet and another that looked to be the restroom, the last one was the door out of here. And that's the one I wanted.

I looked at my gauze wrapped arm. It was extremely sore. My right arm had an I.V coming out of it. The beeping noise that was driving me nuts was a heart monitor. I looked around for some kind of call button. Before I had a chance to find it, a very handsome male doctor walked in holding a chart. When he noticed my eyes were opened he beamed a beautiful smile.

"Ahh, Isabella. Finally awake I see, I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen" He looked over my vitals and started scribbling on the chart. Once he had the information he needed he laid the chart on the bedside table and pulled a folding chair up to the bed.

"How are you feeling Isabella?" I gave him a confused look. I could not understand why I didn't like him calling me Isabella. Everyone at the home called me that. After my parent's death, no one had ever called me Bella again. It was always Isabella, and that's the way I wanted it. So why did I want this stranger, to call me Bella?

He pulled a small memo pad and pen out of his lab coat. "Your guardian at Youth Care says you haven't talked in some time now." He held the pad and pen out to me. "I was hoping that we could communicate by different means." The last person I had _spoke_ to was Officer Davis. Jacob tried to get me to speak, but it was a lost cause. No one else tried after him. And no one else cared enough to try a different way, besides speech. I looked at Dr. Cullen, and hesitantly took the pen and pad. I wrote down the first thing I wanted him to know.

"_Please call me Bella." _It was the first thing I had said in three years.

"It's very nice to finally meet you Bella. I have been waiting for three weeks now." His voice was gentle and calming.

Our conversation went on for hours. I was on my forth memo pad. I learned about his children, who all of which were adopted. His wife Esme was unable to have any of her own after an accident. When he had told me what had happened, I immediately felt closer to this unknown woman. I came to worry about his other patients he was neglecting. When I asked him about it, he had told me that I was his last patient he needed to check on before heading home and he had clocked off before doing so. About an hour into our conversation, he had asked me about my parents. And I surprisingly did not flinch as I always did when thinking of them. I told him about how childish my mother was, but that I loved her for it. I told him how laid back my father was, and that he and my mom could not be more opposite. It finally came to an end when I started nodding off while trying to write. He soon left with a promise to return the next morning.

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Three Days

It had been three days since I had awakened from the three-week coma. Today I was nervous. I had come to really depend on Dr. Cullen's visits. And I knew that the days were getting shorter and shorter and I would soon be returning to the Children's home. I did not want to. I had a friend. I did not want to go back there and be sucked back into the black hole of depression. It was lunchtime and Dr. Cullen said he needed to discuss something important with me afterward. As if on queue, Dr. Cullen walked through the door holding his charts.

"Good afternoon Bella, How are you feeling?" I picked up the dry erase board and marker that Nurse Jennifer gave me yesterday and quickly wrote a note telling him I was fine but nervous about what he wanted to discuss.

"There's nothing to worry about. I just wanted to speak to you about something." He pulled up a chair and took a seat beside the bed.

"Bella, I had talked to my wife about you the night you were emitted, you have been a topic of most of our conversations since." I had no clue were this conversation was going, or why it was even important. I nodded for him to continue. "Over the weeks that you have been here, I have come to really care for you Bella, and if you would allow it, in time I would love to call you my daughter." what was he saying? "Bella what I wanted to ask you was, well, if you would like to come home with me." That was the last thing I expected, why would he want me. I was broken, a lost cause. "Think of it as a two week trial, my wife already loves you and she hasn't even met you yet." He gave a nervous laugh. "If you find you can come to care for us as much as we care for you then, well, we will sign the proper paper work and you will officially be our daughter." I did not know what to say. I didn't even know what to think. "I understand if you don't-." I held my hand up to stop him. I grabbed my erase bored and marker.

"_Why would you want me Carlisle, I'm broken?"_

"Bella, you're far from broken. Life has been too hard on you. I could never choose anyone better or stronger then you."

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Twenty-seven hours later and there I was, sitting outside the hospital in a wheelchair (Nurse Jennifer told me it was mandatory) waiting on Dr. Cullen to pull up and take me to my new home. If they were anything like Carlisle there would be no doubt that I would love them and that was not what I was worried about. It was if they could come to love me.

I watched Carlisle pull up, and after helping me in the car we were soon on our way to my new life and second chance at happiness.

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And there you go. I have yet to start on chapter three so it might take me a few days to get it up. But there will be a Edward in the next chapter. Also I do apologise for any grammar/spelling errors.

*HUGZ&SKITTLES*


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